Thursday, December 30, 2010

Marley's Bathtime Chronicles: A Tale of Tragedy and Treachery

Welcome to tonight's episode of Marley's Bathtime Chronicles: A Tale of Tragedy and Treachery, starring: Elmo Head

Baby Duck

Baby Sister Duck

Sweater Duck

Nemo Fish

In tonight's episode, a disaster of catastrophic proportions befalls Baby Duck. If you can believe it, Baby Duck gets sucked up into the bath faucet! "Help me! Help me! Help meeee!" cries Baby Duck. "Heellllp meee!"
This goes on for quite a while. All of the other bath creatures, including Baby Sister Duck, Nemo Fish, Sweater Duck and Elmo Head are all lined up safely at the edge of the bathtub, watching Baby Duck's painful demise. Despite his increasingly dire predicament, they do nothing to help.

"Uh...Marley?" I ask my daughter, who is completely engrossed in the soapy drama. "Isn't anyone going to save Baby Duck?"
Marley ponders this for a moment. "Hmmm...." she says with a smile, finger to her lips. Clearly she's thinking it over, although she seems pretty content to squash Baby Duck's head in the faucet. "Hmmmm...Okay!"
Finally, Baby Sister Duck rescues Baby Duck from the faucet. Sadly, he has not emerged unscathed.
"Baby Duck has an owie," declares Marley, gently placing Baby Duck into the floating boat.
"Baby Duck has an owie and now goes sleepy-time," says Marley. Hmmm...a concussion perhaps? I guess no one told her about the no-sleeping rule.
Alas, this was not theonly drama to mar the spirits and health of the poor bathtub creatures.
Just when it seems like things are settling down, disaster strikes.
"Elmo Head, watchout!" cries Nemo Fish. Elmo Head wanders precariously close to the edge of the bathtub. "Elmo Head, don't fall! Hold the rail! Don't fall!"
But it's too late. Elmo Head falls off the edge of the bathtub, onto the tile floor, head first, of course. He lies there covered in bubbles. It doesn't look good.
"Elmo Head, oh noooooo," cries Nemo Fish.
"Elmo Head sad!" declares Sweater Duck.
"Elmo Head has BIG owie," says Baby Duck, arising from his coma for a moment. Then, apparently exhuasted from the effort, he collapses back into the boat.
Elmo Head is lying silent on the floor. All of the creatures, except for Baby Duck, line up to peer at Elmo Head's lifeless, head. He doesn't move.
What will happen? Will Elmo Head survive his terrible fall? Will Baby Duck recover from his freak faucet-sucking incident? Stay tuned for the next episode of Marley's Bathtime Chronicles: A Tale of Tragedy and Treachery.