It's true. I am addicted to online shopping. Gilt.com, to be exact.
You see, under normal circumstances, the only stores Marley will tolerate for more than 20 minutes are TJ Max and Target. Don't get me wrong, I love TJ Max and Target. They are fine, fine establishments, ripe with juicy shopping opportunities. There, screaming babies and toddler tantrums are a dime a dozen. No one even throws you a second look if you're on the other end of a meltdown.
Even so, trying on clothes is a race against time, like running a sweaty marathon. I'm ripping things on and off again at lightning speed, so fast that I once got a security tag tangled in my hair. I almost dislocated my shoulder trying to get out of a turtleneck. I emerge from the dressing room hot and flushed, slightly crazed, eye makeup smudged, my hair jacked up and Marley jumping up and down in the shopping cart, waving her arms around, trying to make a break for it like a caged monkey. It's not pretty.
Enter Gilt.com. I understand why they call it that, because now I have bonafide, therapy-inducing SHOPPING ADDICTION. Every day at 9:00am, Gilt starts its online sale, tempting you with a range of choice items from Marc Jacobs dresses for $79 (hello?) and designer purses for under $100. (Come to mamma!) Now, I'm flushed and sweaty, dialated pupils, spastically hoarding items in my cart as fast as my fingers can point and click.
It seems to take forever for the stuff to arrive, so I get a good week or more of titillating anticipation. When it arrives, I stack it neatly on my counter until NAPTIME, the holy grail of motherhood. Then, I get to slowly take my time trying on all my beautiful items, languishing in the sheer wonder of it all. And if it doesn't fit? Or the cut is unflattering? FREE SHIPPING ON RETURNS, baby. You just put that sucker right back in the box and drop it off at the nearest UPS!
Mind you, when you return the items, you don't get your money back. You get a store credit. Now, you've got this great store credit, and you have to use it! Better get back on Gilt the next morning, because now its like you're shopping for free! (And the cycle continues.)
Now that I've shared my mommy guilty pleasure, do any of you have any spastic online shopping addictions? Come on girls, I know you have them!