Thursday, March 24, 2011

7 Things I'd Say to Robert Downey Jr if I Sat Next to Him on a Plane

There is just something about Robert Downey, Jr. I admit it...I am smitten.

I believe he has even replaced my all-time celebrity crush, Daniel Craig.

(Don't worry Daniel, I still think you're hot.)

Anyway, I will sit through Iron Man (#1 and #2) just because I think Robert Downey Jr is so freakishly sexy. (And by the way, I didn't post these pictures just to gratuitously show off Robert and Daniel's abs...I just wanted to make sure you knew who they are.)

Well I found myself thinking about Robert Downey Jr, and what would happen if I ever met him. Who knows? It could happen. Perhaps a few years down the road, after I am a highly-paid celebrity blogger, and my book has been made into a movie starring Sandra Bullock. Maybe I would find myself seated in first class on the way to the big city for a press tour. And lo and behold...who would I find in the seat right next to me? Why, it's RDJ!

(Mind you, RDJ has nothing on my husband Ian, who happens to not only be a stone-cold fox, but is also a fabulous husband and amazing Daddy. But a girl can dare to dream, right?)

So, back to the fantasy. Perhaps RDJ would find me intriguing enough to order some champagne (he's not sober now, is he?) and engage me in conversation. Here are the top seven things I might say to Robert Downey, Jr if I sat next to him on a plane.

1. "Why thank you, Robert! I'm actually much older than 22. But what can I has been good to me!"

2."From the looks of your abs, I can see that fitness is a big part of your life. Can I touch them?"

3. "Why thank you! Yes, fitness is also a big part of my life. Yes I've had two kids. Oh stop're so kind!"

4. "I can see you are taking off your shirt. Does this mean you want me to pour syrup and strawberries all over your abs and lick them off?"

5. "I heard you used to be a total drug addict. Did you ever do LSD and have any wicked hallucinations? Please share."

6. "Robert, thank you so much for the invitation to join you for a drink in your penthouse suite at the Ritz. But I have to remind you--despite the fact that I am still licking strawberries and syrup off your abs--I am a happily married woman. So you'll have to find some other girl to join you for a drink."

7. "Yes, I would love to be your Facebook friend!"

Thanks for reading! And if you think I am even REMOTELY funny, please vote for my blog for the Top 25 Funny Mom Blog contest. Just takes one-click! Thanks people!

UPDATE: Let's just say that my husband was NOT super stoked on today's blog post, and has decided not to vote for me because I mentioned licking strawberries and syrup off RDJ's abs. I feel very bad about this Ian, and the truth is, I would MUCH rather lick strawberries and syrup off YOUR abs! Here is a picture of my super hot and wonderful husband. How did I get someone this hot to marry me? I don't know. But I love you baby, and I'm off to the store to buy strawberries and syrup! xoxo

Isn't he cute?


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