Monday, May 9, 2011

Top 10 Things No One Told Me About Being a Mom

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day! Yesterday, on my 33rd month of being a mom, I found myself marveling at all the funny, weird, and wonderful little things that come along with motherhood.

Some of them were expected, but some of them...well, let's just call them surprises. So, without further ado, here are the Top 10 Things No One Told Me About Being a Mom.

1) That I would pee my pants a little bit every time I sneeze, laugh, or do a jumping jack.
2) That getting up at 7am is considered "sleeping in."
3) Kids birthday parties are actually FUN! (Bonus points for bouncers. Double bonus points for parents that provide on-site alcohol.)
4) From now on, going to the DMV by myself is "relaxing."
5) The distinct thrill that is giving my baby girl an enema.
6) That my tolerance would drop to two glasses of wine gets me WASTED!
7) That my 2 year old daughter would barge in on me while I'm in the bathroom, asking if I needed help with "the wipe."
8) That I would ever be happy to see Chuckles the Clown.
9) That it would be this crazy.
10) That it would be this awesome.

Thanks for reading. Do you have something to add? Leave a comment while you're here!

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  1. My 3 year old likes to congratulate me when I go to the bathroom. "Good job Momma, you pee?"

    Great list! Love it...

    I made one too, but about things I'm glad no one told me so I would still have kids, lol

  2. I would add that almost ANY errand (beyond the DMV) is relaxing if you get to do it alone! My sis once called me in a hushed whisper: "I am having the best night. EVER." I was like -- wow, what are you doing? Her: "I'm at TARGET. BY MYSELF. Sipping a Starbucks latte while slowly perusing the aisles. It's awesome!" And weirdly, I was envious! Also, the kids' bday party thing -- totally true. But only once the kids are of a certain age where they don't need to be followed around the entire time and you can actually b.s. (and/or drink) with the other parents (whom you hopefully don't hate or find totally annoying); As for the sneezing thing -- yep. No one ever tells you that. It sucks. But yes it is beyond awesome :)

  3. Mountain Momma...I love your list! :) And as far as being an emotional wreck...cheers to that! Most days I feel like I am at least 50% "not there."

    And Minka, sooo true! I also enjoy relaxing solo trips to Target! Even better with Starbucks. So funny how things change...