Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Top 8 Things Strangers Say to Me About My Huge Pregnant Belly

Here I am at 36 weeks. Yee-ha! Needless to say, the glory of my huge pregnant belly is attracting all sorts of strangers and their witty comments. Here are the Top 8 Things Strangers Say to Me About my Huge Pregnant Belly.

1. Are you having twins? Fuck you. This comment is so fucking unoriginal that I won't even glorify it with a response.
2. There's something in there that wants to get OUT! This one was actually kinda funny, because I was in Rubio's buying a burrito, and the guy that said it had a southern accent.
3. When are you due? Today? Ha ha ha. No, actually in a few weeks, but since you're so fucking hilarious I'll save you some of the afterbirth.
4. You must be soooo uncomfortable. No, not really. But come a little closer and I'll show you me kick you in the shins!
5. I can't even tell you're pregnant from behind! Apparently this is a compliment, but it just underscores the fact that the only place I have gained weight is my belly, which means that my baby is going to be HUGE.
6. Is your husband a big guy? Again, insinuating that my baby will be HUGE and I must have a Neanderthal husband in order to create such a large baby. (For the record, at 5'11 and 180, I don't consider Ian a particularly "big guy.")
7. You're having a c-section, right? As a matter of fact I'm not. I am going to attempt to push this baby out, risking my vagina's life in the process. Thanks for reminding me!
8. You're having a healthy baby, so there's a lot of fluid in there. This comment was from my friend Barbie in book club. This comment actually made me feel sooo much better, because YES, I am having a very healthy baby, and with healthy babies come a LOT of fluid! So it's not all baby in there, it's just a lot of fluid. And it doesn't hurt when fluid comes out. Yay!!!

So next time someone asks me what's going on with my belly, I'm going to say, "Back off. Obviously, there's a lot of FLUID in there. GAW."

Anyway. I'm more than a little scared of this birthing experience. May the force be with me! (And lots of drugs.)

Anyone else here push out baby #2? Was it easier, faster, or less painful in any way? If so, please share!

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  1. Awe Chris-force, drugs, and alcohol (on the other side) will be with you!

  2. Definitely easier and faster for # 2, but--sorry--not really less painful.

  3. An honest answer...not THE answer I was hoping for, but I give you points for honesty :) I'll just have to ask for more drugs then!

  4. I totally understand what your saying about strangers coming up to you and telling you your huge. This happens to me all the time. Just the other day I was out shopping with my husband and a women came right up to me and said " You're Huge, do you find it hard to walk now" I just looked at her and said Yes I know I am huge and walked away. Why do strangers think they have the right to tell you what they are thinking, they need to learn how to keep their comments to their self. Oh I am 32 weeks pregnant and just found out if I go full-term I will probably be delivering a 9 pound baby and its my first child. SO not looking forward to the delivery process now.

  5. Jodi Lynn! I hope you are feeling good and are close to having your baby. Thanks for posting. Sorry, I am a little behind in catching up with my comments. MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!

  6. I read the full list of the top 8 things that strangers say to you about your huge pregnant belly,but I'm NOT going to repeat any of them here.However,what I am going to do is tell you what EVERYONE should be telling you which is that you have one big round AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL pregnant belly and a really NICE outie bellybutton to go along with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!